at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path. 

No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded. 

Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything. 

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive? 

I don't know.

Him

He open and hold the door for me if we're going somewhere.

He pull the chair out and help me in first before he take a seat.

He said "You look beautiful.", "You're very pretty." Every single date.

He always asks "What do you want?", "Where you want to go?", "What do you want to eat?"

He is putting my self first.

He listens to all the things i said, like.. actually listens.

He thinks im funny.

He thinks im perfect.

He pats my head, and said "Thats my girl."

He is a gentleman.

He is a dreamy boy that every single girls in the world wants to be with.

He treats his girl as if shes his queen.

His soul is royalty.

God please, make this one work out well.

im dying

Its your birthday!
Idk what to wish but you know that i'll be forever pray the best for you, right?

I was planned about going to see you, make you some food you like to eat (no more cake hehe) cause ive learned more about cooking and really want you to taste it. But im sorry i couldnt make it cause... You know theres soo many reasons.

I dont want you to feel annoyed by me, i know you (might) like your space now, and take your time! You're free to go. Anytime you want.
I also dont want to cry in front of you, i dont want your pity. I dont want to force you to stay because your pity. I miss you, i miss you a lot, i miss you so much.

Hope you're happy everyday of your life. Study well, make your parents proud, reach your goals. Just...dont worry about me. I'll be good, i'll be fine, and i'll be happy too if you are.

I compeletely understand if you dont love me anymore, and its totally fine, you can go. Its okay. I dont want to know the reason, i dont feel like i need to know, and i dont want to think about it cause im just tired of crying. I dont need to have you to love you, right? I dont even afraid of not having you now, im not afraid of being hurt. Cause loving someone is to putting up someone before myself. I hope you get what you want.

Im sorry i still using your phone, i still havent pay back my HUGE toll to you. But i promise i will. Thank you for making me happy for some period.

I dont blame you, in fact i am sorry, sorry for anything i might did wrong. Im sorry for not loving you enough, im sorry for being a burden, and annoying, boring, bugging, anythinggg please im sorry.. You can leave. Dont worry about me

Maybe someday I'll sing to you again, we'll laugh again, we'll happy together.
Gosh..
I miss you
I miss you











I miss you

I was a dreamer
I can even picture us
Me, and you
Live in our little house
We are older right there
With our fancy room
With a basic wood-dresser
And a medium size bed where i will woke up to your smile everyday
With the small kitchen corner that i could use to cook dishes,
And an ordinary dining table too.

I can even imagine
That sometimes we are gonna sit down to that table
With our kids
Chattering, laughing, sharing some daily life story, and
You sitting to the food i cook,
Looking at me with a smile.

I can picture it on my mind
That ikissed our kids before school
And kisses you too before your work
Supports you on a tiring day

I can convince my self to believe
That someday when i got home in stressed because my work,
And you'll be there to hug me,
Telling me that things would turn out
Help me with the work
Or no, not with the work
You help me with the smile of your face,
That lit up my fire again.

I believe that you will be the last person i see before i close my eyes everyday.
You will run your hands to my hair,
And rub my back untill i go to sleep.
Or maybe i could massage you,
Give you a kiss and a hug,
Till you fall asleep.

I can imagine, the sickness day
When you're sick and i finally could take a full care of you.
I can cook you a soup
I can feed you
Hug you
Give you a massage.
I can help you through your problems

Cause with you. I believe that my fairytale would actually happen for once.
I completely believe that sometimes this pain would go away, and i can live with you in happiness
I hardly believe in you cause you keep me from falling apart.

But u said u didnt love me...


You didnt...

I think i'm just mistaken your kindness
To something that looks like true love


...


Those fairytales are vanished.
I feel dead empty inside.
I dont even get mad.
Im not angry
Its just..
I finally understand that
Things like "forever"
It doesn't exist



My faith has gone
forever

That one who never talked about

Even if it just for your compassion. Thanks for keep staying anyway.

You’re someone who is like a dream
so you disappear like dreams do
I knew we were fated to do that
It’s just a page of seasons that came and went
.
Just like powder snow
falling and melting
my feeling of missing you won’t stop
.
It’s ok if you don’t love me
Just watch over me from far away
I’m pretending to be strong
But I just want to attach to you
Because I still love you
.
I wish I could have cried more
I wish I could have smiled more
tell me ‘you’re are silly’
tell me ‘you don’t have to care’
I’m just missing you
.
It was the first time I thought
that my life so far wasn’t wrong
Your smile is like a sunny place
shining light over the road of my life
.
You were the only one
who gave me an umbrella
to shelter myself from the rain in my heart
.
It’s ok if you can’t love me
I’ll watch over you from here
I’m pretending to be strong
But I just want attach to you
Because I still love you
.
Under the same moon
we shed tears together
“that’s wrong that i leave you.”
“I don’t want to leave you”
I just couldn’t say these simple words
.
And even when the travel of my ife
comes to an end
I’ll surely be praying
that you are the person you wanted to be
that you are smiling
that you are happy
.
It’s ok if you don’t love me
Just watch over me from far away
I’m pretending to be strong
But I just want to attach to you
Because I still love you
.
I wish I could have cried more
maybe I should have smiled more
tell me ‘you’re are silly’
tell me ‘you don’t have to care’
I’m just missing you
.
I just want to see you